Yogi Bear

    Do I dare speak my true mind? The depths of an eternal abyss that knows no bounds, nor the breadth of the darkness. I don’t think I can just sit idly by anymore, when the world is on fire and the last remaining drop of sanity has been spilled. I cannot seem to shake these impending thoughts that have no words to describe the amount of sickness they cause me. A true illness that I feel has spread through the world and society like an unrelenting cancer—a wildfire of hatred and vileness. Igniting my flame of thought and provoking a beast that has always lain dormant. A beast that has never fed nor been hungry. But, like a hibernating bear, awakens with a lustful appetite for carnage and ferocity.

    I hate that I feel this way—that I am unable to hold down these oppressive thoughts anymore. If I don't cool down quickly, I will have a core meltdown, irradiating everything from the inside out, causing unimaginable and irreparable damage. It is a feeling that I have never been taught to feel. A feeling that is encoded in all of us but is unable to be accessed without the right password. This gets unlocked when the right specific circumstances are regretfully achieved—the imperfect brain being bombarded by the perfect stressors and stimuli.

    This horrifying revelation comes with certain side effects, never before experienced. Thoughts from the darkest depths of your brain creep in and take hold. Things that I have always strayed away from, never wanting to satisfy the monster lurking behind the scenes. This world and its current state of pain and crisis are not idle places for people like me. The lack of empathy and civilized conversation is a true tarnish on my soul. I can't help but feel like this will not be cured, nor will I come out of this.

    Not being able to control these terrifying thoughts really begins to stain. Unable to shake yesterday’s memories of not wanting to be here anymore. Unable to retrain my brain to not think about things I know I shouldn’t. It makes me begin to worry if I am too far gone down this path already. Am I already so lost that I might as well build a cabin? The only issue with cabins in the woods is the beasts still come to feed.